


Funk

by samwhambam



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, Loveless Marriage, M/M, Same-Sex Marriage, Smut, Smut (in future chapters)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-14 19:45:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8026609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samwhambam/pseuds/samwhambam
Summary: So! Let's imagine that this takes a couple of years later than what HTGAWM is already set at. And Oliver is in a loveless marriage and in comes Connor Walsh, sweeping through Oliver's life like a hurricane. And Oliver is confused and also self-aware and they start to develop feelings. But! Oliver is scared to leave his husband because their marriage, although not preferred, is safe and Oliver is settled into life. 
So that's the basis and I'm figuring it out as I go!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Let's be real. I proofread as I go. But I've probably missed some things. So, forgive me if that happens! If you have any comments or suggestions, please leave comments! I love hearing feedback. I don't know how long it's going to be yet. Just trying to figure out how long I want this slow burn to be.
> 
> (Also if you have a prompt or anything like that, feel free to let me know. Because I don't start school for another week. So I have free time now.)
> 
> Enjoy!

Oliver sighed before he changed the radio station, pushing one of the random buttons on his dashboard. He had just turned onto his street and his house slowly came into view. Before he could pull into his driveway, he made a quick decision to circle around the block another time. He had already done it once, but he was not ready to go home. He didn’t want to go home. Once he pulled into his driveway, he became Oliver Hampton, loyal husband stuck in a loveless marriage with a husband that he honestly settled for. If he kept driving, he could keep his façade of being “Oliver Hampton, sometimes carefree, but always a loyal husband who is settled into real adult life.”

 

After circling the block, Oliver pulled into his driveway. Putting the issue off didn’t make it go away. He had to get tonight over with so he could move onto the next day where he could go to work and escape his mundane life for a bit. That didn’t stop Oliver from sitting in his car for another five minutes. His husband was already home and if he noticed Oliver’s new ritual, he hadn’t said anything.

 

He walked in the door, closing it slowly and turning the knob right before it closed so it closed silently. He wanted just another second alone. He quickly walked upstairs, wanting to change into less constricting clothing before he went downstairs to help his husband with dinner.

 

“Oh, hey Oliver,” Jonathon called out as he exited their bathroom. He pressed a quick kiss to Oliver’s cheek. “I was gonna make that chicken stir fry for dinner tonight. It’s quick and easy and we already have everything.”

 

“Sounds good. I’ll be down in a minute to help,” Oliver had turned to Jonathon, a small smile on his face. Jonathon was wearing his usual lounge wear. These pair of shorts had a hole on the inner thigh and a paint stain on the butt. His shirt was an old one, from college. What Oliver once found cute and endearing, he suddenly hated. Oliver couldn’t remember when this switch happened, but it happened. The shirt was soft, Oliver used to love it when Jonathon wore it. He would snuggle into his side as they watched a movie on the couch. But now, now Oliver could only think about how we wished his husband put more effort into his look. Just because they had been married for 5 years didn’t mean that his husband was allowed to keep looking sloppy and never try to impress him anymore. Oliver wanted to cry. It was never an issue. It was just a stupid shirt he wore around the house. But now it stood for everything Oliver hated about their relationship.

 

“Don’t worry about it, I got it.” Jonathon called out as he walked out of their bedroom.

 

Oliver watched him leave with wet eyes. He still loved Jonathon. He had to. He was his husband. He married him for a reason. But he couldn’t remember that reason. He should’ve written a list with the reasons why he loved him and married him after their wedding. Something to look back on during every fight. But that would’ve been futile and he would’ve just crossed off reasons as the years went on.

 

There was no passion anymore. Their sex life was just one small scoop of vanilla ice cream. Happening once a week and the only thing that changed was who bottomed. Oliver wanted to blame his age. Say it was because he was always tired, but the amount of porn he watched and how often he masturbated made him realize that it had nothing to do with being 33 and working overtime at a job that he hates. He had no reason to have sex when he had better orgasms when he masturbated. It didn’t matter who had stopped trying to make their sex mind-blowing because they had both given up. That’s what Oliver kept reminding himself every time he thought about his marriage. They had both given up. This wasn’t his fault.

 

Had the marriage been doomed from the start? Two months ago, Oliver would’ve said no. It was just a natural phenomenon. Sometimes relationships were strong and sometimes the bond became weak. It was just a phase. Oliver was in a funk. But funks didn’t last for a whole year. Did they?

 

This is what kept Oliver there. This idea that everything would get better. It had to get better. Marriage was supposed to be a once in a lifetime type of a thing. You find your partner and they fight through your whole life with you. Oliver had found that partner. Jonathon hadn’t batted an eye at Oliver’s HIV diagnosis when Oliver laid it all out on the table during their 3rd date. Most of Oliver’s previous attempts at a relationship were stopped once he came clean about his diagnosis. When he found Jonathon, an attractive man that didn’t care that Oliver was HIV-positive, Oliver latched onto him and vowed to never let him go. He was married to someone who didn’t care. Oliver was not allowed to fall out of love. Let go of what could potentially be his only chance to be married and happy. He was not allowed to be in a funk. He just had to snap out of it.

 

Oliver finished changing and quickly made his way downstairs. Tonight he was a loving husband. He was done letting his bad mood be the reason why he wasn’t trying. He joined Jonathon in the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of wine as his husband spooned the food onto their plates. He could do it. He was going to eat dinner with his husband, make conversation. Laugh a lot. Then afterwards, he was going to charm him into the bedroom. Try something different. Mix it up. He was going to try to be a better husband tonight.

 

*

 

Oliver had succeeded. Dinner was lovely. The food was average, but they had talked about their day. Oliver had made Jonathon laugh. He had even persuaded Jonathon into the bedroom after their movie finished. Had blindfolded him, all of his actions a little rougher than usual. Oliver had fucked him into the mattress and it was good. But afterwards, as Jonathon drifted off to sleep, Oliver just stared at the ceiling. He began to cry once he realized that the hole in his heart where his marriage used to be, was now bigger. Tonight had done the opposite of what he intended. Oliver had never felt more alone and sad than he did in this moment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trash and should've gone to bed, but I chose to write instead. Feel free to leave me comments. Tell me what you liked. There's going to be more dialogue from here on out. These first two chapters were mostly there to serve as background. Now, the story is actually moving forward.

Oliver woke up to a soft tapping on his shoulder.

 

“Oliiiivveeerrr,” Jonathon was whispering.

 

“Hmm. What?” Oliver rolled over, burrowing his face into the duvet. It was early. Too early. He had taken today off of work. After two years of never missing a day of work, he thought it was an appropriate time to. Jonathon was leaving to go to a work conference in Cincinnati for the weekend. Or at least, he thought it was a work conference. He had stopped listening two months ago.

 

“I’m leaving now. Jessica just got here. I’ll text you when we land,” Jonathon pressed a kiss against Oliver’s hair.

 

“Okay. Be safe. Make good choices,” Oliver was already falling back asleep. He was knocked out before Jonathon made it to their bedroom door. If he had taken longer to fall asleep, he would’ve noticed that there wasn’t an “I love you” muttered from either of them. When had they stopped saying _I love you_?

 

*

 

Oliver woke up a couple of hours later. He had migrated from his side of the bed to the middle, spreading out on his stomach with one hand under each pillow. It was already 10 am and Oliver couldn’t remember the last time he slept this late. Jonathon had turned Oliver into a morning person, each of them getting up and ready earlier than they ever had to be.

 

Today, Oliver stayed in bed for another hour. Dozing in and out of sleep as he made a list of things to do. He needed to do laundry, buy some groceries, probably start looking into his mother’s birthday gift. Oliver needed to get out of bed, start his day, be productive. He counted down from 3, willing himself to get out of bed. Instead, he just reached over for the remote on his bedside table. The TV hung on the opposite wall. Jonathon had mentioned getting one almost a year ago, and they got it the next day. Oliver didn’t know which came first, their diminishing sex life or the television in the bedroom. Which caused what?

 

Oliver pushed the thought out of his head as he turned it on, starting up Netflix. An episode of Cutthroat kitchen later and Oliver told himself that he had to get out of bed. Instead, he ordered a pizza online and remained in bed until it arrived. On his way back to his bedroom, he stopped in his kitchen to pick up a few items. He made his way back upstairs with the pizza, a couple of water bottles, napkins and a rogue can of orange soda he found in his fridge.

 

Oliver felt like a bachelor as he ate lunch in bed. He didn’t hate the feeling.

 

*

 

Oliver stood in front of his closet, pulling out different combinations of clothes before throwing them down on his floor. He was forcing himself to go out tonight. He needed to have some fun. Knock a few cold ones back. He mostly just wanted to people watch. Bars were full of people in shittier situations than him and he wasn’t ashamed to say that his main purpose was to use that to make himself feel better. His life may be unfulfilling, but there had to be people going through worse.

 

He finally decided on a simple outfit. Nothing to bring attention to himself. He chose a pair of dark jeans, a white t shirt and his worn dark brown leather jacket. He pulled out his matching boots and set it all aside before he climbed into the shower.

 

Oliver stood under the spray of water, slowing turning the temperature knob until the water was running colder and colder. He was shivering before he started shampooing his hair. The cold water felt good against his skin. Woke him up. He felt alert, like the veil set in front of his eyes was beginning to lift. He had spent the day relaxing, not thinking of anything, letting himself get lost in different cooking competitions. The pressure and need to be a decent husband was lifted off of his shoulders once we realized there were no expectations of him this weekend. He didn’t have to try to look within himself to reignite the spark for Jonathon. He didn’t have to pretend like he was okay.

 

Oliver got ready quickly, his palms itching to feel the cool glass of a cocktail.

 

*

 

Oliver stood at the bar, sipping from his drink. He felt weird, like a loser for standing at the bar. He hadn’t come with anyone, so he was just there. Alone. A small high table opened up and Oliver moved quickly, sliding onto one of the stools. He began looking around, listening in to the conversations around him. He began to get invested in one of them when he heard someone clear their throat.

 

“Can I buy you a drink?”

 

Oliver turned towards the voice and his mouth immediately went dry. All the moisture relocated to his palms as he nervously began to sweat. There was a man standing next to him and he was straight up the hottest guy Oliver had ever seen.

 

“Uh. I’m married,” Was Oliver’s response. He may be unhappy, but he was loyal. Still, his words came out a little broken. Oliver had never dealt well with attention, especially not from someone who looked like they just walked out of a modeling gig for Prada. Or another super classy, expensive brand.

 

“I saw your ring. Slightly disappointed, but I’ll live,” The man winked and chuckled softly and oh it was music to Oliver’s ears.

 

“I’m also not looking to have an affair,” The words tumbled out of Oliver’s mouth. He had to stop anything before it could even happen. Tonight was the first time that Oliver had been high on life in a while. He had to say no before he stopped trusting himself.

 

“I respect that,” The stranger motioned to the empty chair next to Oliver. Oliver nodded enthusiastically. He sat down before turning his full body towards Oliver. He held out his hand. “I’m Connor by the way. Connor Walsh.”

 

Oliver ran his open palm against his thigh before taking Connor’s hand in his own. Oliver wanted to moan at the contact. Connor’s hands were soft, yet his handshake was strong. Oliver’s fingertips brushed against Connor’s wrist and the skin there was even softer. All he wanted to do in that moment was run his fingertips up Connor’s arm. He wanted to feel Connor’s expensive suit under his fingertips. Grip is strong shoulders in his hand. Instead, he let go of the hand, choosing instead to take a quick sip of his drink.

 

“Oliver Hampton,” Oliver blushed as Connor smiled at him. It was more of a smirk. One that lifted only one corner of his mouth. It was sexy as hell and Oliver briefly wondered what it would feel like to push his cock into that mouth, watch those pink lips wrap around himself. He began to try to remember the last time Jonathon had given him a blow job. When was the last time that his only focus was on Oliver getting off? He couldn’t remember.

 

“Can I buy you a drink?” Connor asked again. Oliver knew what he should’ve said.

 

_No._

 

But Connor’s eyes were staring into his. Oliver was finally getting the attention he had been craving, needing. Oliver was feeling excitement. For once he wasn’t recounting all his failures in life, trying to pinpoint the moment that he somehow fucked everything up. He didn’t want to rush home and fall asleep so he wouldn’t have to face his problems. Tonight he actually felt like Oliver.

 

“Yes.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I'm going to write all day!  
> Also me: Just wanna watch Narcos all day. 
> 
> I swear it'll get good. Just gotta get through all the set up first.

“So, why are you here?” Connor asked once he had sat down. He took a sip from his drink as he nudged Oliver’s towards him. Oliver mixed his half empty drink. The ice clinked on the side of the glass as he contemplated the question. He could answer truthfully, open up to a stranger. Get the words out so he could start processing everything. But that’s not what he came for.

 

He looked up at Connor, tearing his eyes away from his drink. There was something about Connor’s eyes that just made the words start tumbling out of Oliver’s mouth.

 

“My marriage is a shit show and my husband is gone for the weekend so I’m out here trying to convince myself that other people have it worse than me. Also, you know, trying to find my identity again,” Oliver downed the rest of his drink before pushing the empty glass away. He reached for his new drink. Connor just stared at him, eyebrows knit in concern. Oliver raised his eyebrows at him before taking a sip of his new drink.

 

“What is this?” Oliver tipped the glass at Connor. It was delicious. Strong.

 

“Makers Manhattan,” Connor clicked his glass against Oliver’s before taking a sip. “You seemed on edge. It’s strong so it’ll smooth that out. But not too strong that you’ll lose yourself.”

 

“Will I find myself at the bottom of it?” Oliver swirled the glass around, gently mixing the contents. Two cherries bobbed around the bottom of the glass. He fought the urge to stick his finger in the drink to pick one out. Instead he took another drink.

 

Connor chuckled as he pursed his lips. Oliver could sense it coming, a personal question. He didn’t want this attention. He wanted the smooth flirting, the attention.

 

“So, why are you here? More specifically sitting with me when you can be making your round? You’re an attractive man, go find a conquest,” Oliver smirked at him, reaching over for his empty cup. He stole his old straw and then plunged it into a cherry. He popped it into his mouth before continuing quickly. “You don’t seem like the type to sit with a sad, old married man going through a quarter life crisis.”

 

“What type am I?” Connor leaned towards Oliver, that smirk resurfacing. There it was, that heat that had been missing. This is what Oliver needed.

 

“The kind of guy who would charm his way into another man’s bed. Give him the best night of his life. Make him cry, see stars, scream until his voice is hoarse. Then dip in the morning without breakfast,” Oliver licked his lips and Connors eyes followed the action.

 

“I think you hit the nail on the head,” Connor chuckled as his eyes made a quick sweep around the people surrounding them. His eyes didn’t linger on anyone. Oliver had his attention. “Breakfast depends on the guy.”

 

“If it was me?” Oliver was treading in dangerous territory, but he was still aware of the ring on his finger.

 

“Depends on how the night went. You seem like you’d be up for anything, willing to take whatever I give you. We could have some fun.” Connor’s voice was low and Oliver was leaning in further than he should’ve. Oliver’s mouth had gone dry the second Connor sat down and was impossibly getting even drier. “If that’s the case, I’d stay for breakfast. Need the energy for the rest of what I would want to do to you.”

 

Oliver briefly thought about giving in. How easy it would be to throw in the towel on his marriage and let Connor do whatever he wanted to do to his body. Brief flashes of Connor fucking him fast and dirty entered his cloudy mind. He could do it. No one would know. It could either confirm his suspicion that he wanted out of his marriage, or leave him feeling guilty enough to do whatever it took to get his marriage back to where it was in the beginning. But he couldn’t.

 

“You, uh, never told me why you approached me. And continued to buy me a drink after I mentioned the marriage thing,” Oliver took another drink. It was still cool and the burn of the alcohol brought him back to reality.

 

“I don’t know. I thought you were incredibly attractive and wanted to talk to you. You rejecting me didn’t change any of that,” Connor finished his drink, sliding both cherries into his mouth. "You don't look old, by the way."

 

"I'm 33," Oliver stared Connor in the eye, waiting for a flinch. Connor seemed like the type to go younger, like he would be popular with the freshly out twinks. Someone who put an equal amount of attention into their looks.

 

"I've fucked older." There was an edge to his voice. A "try me" type of a tone. "Been fucked by older. I like them a little older. More experience. They're not afraid to manhandle me, be a little rougher. The young ones haven't learned the human body's limits yet."

 

Oliver downed the rest of his drink, sliding his empty glass next to Connor’s.

 

“Want another one?” Connor placed the cups next to Oliver’s first empty cup. He smiled at the rogue bartender who removed them from their table.

 

“If I have another one, I don’t know if I’ll try to fuck you or complain to you about my miserable marriage,” Oliver couldn’t figure out where this honesty was coming from. He couldn’t be honest with himself, but something about Connor made him want to lay everything out on the table.

 

“I won’t let the first one happen. Unfortunately. I can sense that you have morals that’ll make you regret it and I seem to finally be understanding what’s right and wrong.” There was that smirk again.

 

“It’ll be the second one, then.”

 

“Perfect.”

 

Then Connor was walking back to the bar and Oliver was watching him leave.


	4. Chapter 4

“So you’re unhappy,” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement.

 

“Yeah,” Oliver sighed as he took another sip of his drink. This time it was an Old Fashioned. Oliver was surprised. Something about Connor struck him as a fruity cocktail type of guy. Not a “hard liquor from the ‘50’s” kind of guy. It was refreshing.

 

“Do you love him?” Connor had stayed and listened to Oliver’s ramblings about his marriage. He had started with the decline of their sex life and then moved on to all the little everyday things that led to Oliver feeling suffocated. He talked about Jonathon’s lounge wear, how the way he ate drove him crazy, and how he no longer wanted to raise children with him.

 

“I don’t know. I love him as a person. I don’t know if I still love him as a husband,” The confession made Oliver feel like shit. “He’s a good person. But, I don’t get excited to see him. When we kiss I just sit there and follow his actions and hope that it ends. I watch raunchy porn so that way I have something to think about when we have sex. The face he makes when he orgasms is a boner killer. I always try to cum first so that way it doesn’t affect me getting off.”

 

Connor just stared at Oliver, waiting for him to continue.

 

“About 8 months ago, we were in the process of adopting a child. We had been trying for a while before hand, but this was the successful attempt. The mother found out the sex of the baby and we were painting the room. We were in the process of picking out all the furniture, still hadn’t bought any yet. And one morning, I walked past the room. It was a girl, so we had painted the rooms a soft gray and pink. Stripes. And I broke down sobbing because as much as I wanted to bring her home, I couldn’t bring a child into it. Not when I had no confidence in my marriage. That would be such a shitty thing to do. Too much baggage to put on a child.” Oliver’s eyes were filling with tears and he wanted to laugh. He was the man crying in a bar at 11:30 at night. He felt pathetic.

 

“Oliver,” Connor placed a hand on Oliver’s arm, rubbing it slowly. Oliver watched the motion of his hand, letting it hypnotize him.

 

“That morning I called our adoption adviser and told her all of this and then I told her that we would be unable to adopt the child. I made this huge executive decision and then told my husband that the mother pulled out of the agreement. I lied to him and I broke his heart and all I could think about was how I dodged a huge bullet.” Oliver wiped a tear that had fallen, caught it before it could make its way to his jaw line. “I miss her. I didn’t even fucking know her and I feel like I lost my daughter. It hurts so much. All I’ve ever wanted was to have my own family. And I lost the opportunity.”

 

“You couldn’t have done that to her, Oliver. You did the right thing. You deserve to start a family when you’re happy. When you can provide everything to your daughter,” Connor looked around, starting to get to his feet. “Did you have a tab open?”

 

Oliver shook his head, he stared at his hands as he counted to ten, trying to get his breathing under control. He finally looked up into Connor’s face and it took his breath away. Connor was looking at him with a look of deep respect. This time, instead of a smirk, there was a soft smile in its place. If Oliver thought he was sexy before, all he could think about now was how beautiful Connor was.

 

“Do you want to get out of here?” The question was asked in a whisper. Connor was leaning against the table, surveying Oliver’s face.

 

“Yeah,” Oliver got up quickly, swaying a little on his feet before regaining his balance.

 

The cool outside air hit Oliver as soon as they opened the door. It stung against his red eyes, the tears still clinging to his eyelashes.

 

“I live a couple blocks down, two streets over,” Oliver nodded in the direction of his house. “We can walk there. Then you can call a cab or something.”

 

“Yeah, lead the way,” Connor stood close to Oliver’s side as they walked. Oliver couldn’t tell if it was meant to be romantic or just Connor’s way of mooching off of Oliver’s body heat as they made their way down the street.

 

“So, it sounds like you’ve pretty much made your mind up about if you want to stay in the relationship. Why haven’t you left yet?”

 

The question punched Oliver in the gut. He had many reasons. Too many reasons. But he also had so many reasons to leave.

 

“I’m settled. I’m in a safe relationship. We look out for each other. Uh, I’m also HIV-positive,” Oliver looked over quickly at Connor’s face, hoping to catch a glimpse of his reaction. Connor’s face didn’t change. It was still the concerned expression that had surfaced once Oliver started talking about his marriage. “There aren’t many gay men who would willingly be in a serodiscordant relationship. He doesn’t care. I don’t know if I would ever be able to find love again. So many people judge me for my status.”

 

They had reached Oliver’s house. He stopped in front of it and then sat down on his front lawn. Connor followed suit.

 

“I’m dirty, marked by this terrible virus and that makes me undesirable. Put that on top of me not being very attractive and love for me is limited. It hides. I don’t know if I’d ever be able to find it outside of Jonathon. I may not love him, but he doesn't care if I have HIV. Doesn't care what I look like. If I didn't have him, I would just end up alone. I already hate myself enough for that one stupid decision that ended up ruining my life. I don't want to be angry with myself for pushing away the one person that would love me.”

 

“Oliver. Don’t say that.” Connor was whispering between them, moving himself closer to Oliver. The grass was wet and dirt was seeping into his pants, but he didn’t care. He just moved closer to Oliver. When Oliver wouldn’t look at him, Connor moved in front of him, his knees digging into the soft earth. He placed his right hand on Oliver’s knee, the other on the side of Oliver’s face. His thumb sweeping along his cheekbone. “Don’t you ever fucking say that. You’re attractive and a great guy. You would find love anywhere you looked. You’re a catch. If Jonathon can’t give you the love you need, someone else can.”

 

Oliver stared into Connor’s eyes. They were pleading. Before Oliver could realize what he was doing, he was moving closer to Connor. They were so close. If Oliver moved another centimeter, he could place his lips on Connor’s. Kiss him softly. But before he could close the distance, he came to and pulled back. Connor’s head followed him for a couple of inches before he also leaned back, sitting on his heels. The air was charged between them, leaving them both panting. Oliver had wanted to kiss Connor so badly in that moment, he still did. But he couldn’t. Not until he figured out what was happening with Jonathon.

 

“Can I see you again?” The words were a whisper as they left Oliver. He didn’t want to ruin the moment, damper the electricity between them.

 

“Of course.”                       


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally was going to keep writing and make chapter 5 really long, but because of some AWESOME comments (all of them and then especially @janinemanguiat) made me want to post tonight. I might not have the chance to update until Sunday night (maybe). So, if it happens before then, it's a miracle. If it happens Sunday night that's still kind of a miracle. But hopefully for sure Monday.

Oliver woke up Saturday morning and was instantly flooded with the memory of last night. He closed his eyes again as the weight of what he almost did pressed down on his chest. He hadn’t done anything physical, he had stopped himself, but the guilt of wanting to was beginning to wash over him. He had flirted with him. Gotten so close to actually kissing him. He had wanted to. Right there on his front lawn. The lawn in front of the house that he shared with his husband.

 

Oliver was broken out of his trance when his phone beeped. He slid out of bed and searched his pants pocket from where he had thrown them on the floor last night. He had two messages. One was from Jonathon, sent to him this morning. It was an itinerary of the conference with an attached message of “ _This is a lot more than I thought this conference was going to be. If I seem absent this weekend it’s because they actually have events all day. I’ll try to get back you, but if  I don’t, just know I probably fell asleep.”_

 

Oliver sent back a quick response before opening up the second text. The one whose notification got him out of bed.

 

_I just wanted to say thank you for last night. You opened up to me and you didn’t need to. You’re fascinating and I admire your strength. I would love to spend time with you and get to know you. As a friend._

 

The phone was heavy in Oliver’s hand. He wanted to yell, throw the phone against the wall and ignore the problem at hand. Here was this man who he was attracted to, like, extremely attracted to and he was nice. Connor was so understanding and let Oliver just rant and rant. They had been talking for almost 3 hours. If Oliver hadn’t gotten so emotional, they would’ve sat at the bar, talking for who knows how much longer. Connor listened the entire time and asked all the right questions. The questions that Oliver needed to be asked. They barely knew each other and Connor could already read him extremely well. Even Jonathon couldn’t tell the difference between an annoyed Oliver and an angry Oliver.

 

Oliver wanted to say no, that they couldn’t see each other again because he wouldn’t be able to control himself around a man like Connor. One who gave off confidence and smelled like glorified sex. Not real sex, but the fantasy of sex on the beach. Oliver wanted to feel Connor’s scruff on his ass. He wanted to be filled by Connor, driven over the edge by him. He wanted to talk to him over a candlelight dinner in some restaurant whose food neither of them liked very much, but the dim lighting and glow from soft bulbs and candles highlighted the best features in their face, gave them a twinkle in their eyes. Oliver wanted to learn everything about Connor. And that was dangerous with Oliver’s heart so broken and his mind so torn.

 

On the other hand, Connor did listen. He gave great advice and Oliver needed a friend. All of his friends were also Jonathon’s friends. After being together for so long, their lives melded together. Oliver’s identity was mixed with Jonathon’s. That was an issue. Oliver no longer felt like Oliver. In becoming one with Jonathon, he had lost himself and the idea of who he was.

 

**Yes. I was going to order some food and watch Netflix all night. If you want to join.**

 

The response was almost immediate.

 

_Yes._

 

A jolt ran through Oliver as the realization of what was happening woke him up. He needed to clean. He needed to make sure that the bathroom was clean and the kitchen spotless. He also needed to vacuum the living room and switch out the pillows on the couch. He hated those fucking pillows. Would a dessert scented candle be too much?

 

Oliver may have had the best of intentions when inviting Connor over, but he knew he was fucked. He was developing feelings for this man and they just seemed to intensify as he cleaned.

 

*

 

It was 4:30 and the house was spotless. There was nothing out of place and absolutely nothing “home-y” about it. He lived in a house. He lived in a house that he no longer felt he belonged in. Did Jonathon feel the same way? Did he notice the distance growing between them? Did it bother him as much as it bothered Oliver? Could they survive this? They had to. Marriage was a once in a lifetime type of thing. He wasn’t going to get another shot.

 

Oliver sighed as he opened his laptop, pulling up a new google page. He typed in ‘marriage counselor’ as quickly as he could, pressing enter before he could think about what he was doing. They needed help, but Oliver didn’t want to admit that out loud. If he realized that they needed a licensed professional and actually went through with seeing one, that meant that the problems went deeper than he wanted to believe they did. How would he mention to Jonathon that he wanted to see a counselor? He already went for so long without mentioning anything. It felt weird to bring something up now.

 

Could he continue going on like nothing was happening?

 

No. He couldn’t.

 

He spent the next hour and a half making a list of potential counselors, and reading through forums of spouses seeking advice from others whose marriage had been saved by these counselors. If it worked for them, it had to work for Oliver. Each counselor claimed they had the best program to heal a marriage. What did his marriage need? Better communication, was one major issue. But also, how do you fix someone not being attracted to their spouse without changing something about the spouse or coming across as a complete asshole? How did you smooth out a couple who no longer have anything in common? All the conversations are the same. Oliver needed to live again. Be spontaneous. Do more fulfilling tasks in his life. They were so different now. Could it work?

 

Oliver was in the middle of bookmarking another page when the doorbell rang. It was as if the doorbell woke up the butterflies in Oliver’s stomach, turning him into a big bundle of nerves.

 

“Calm down Oliver,” He repeated to himself as he walked to the front door. “He’s just your friend. Your very attractive friend. Calm down.”

 

Oliver opened the door and any prep he may have given himself flew out the window. Connor was stunning as he stood there on Oliver’s porch. He was in dark jeans and a maroon sweater that looked incredibly soft. In that moment, with Connor smiling at him, Oliver knew exactly why he had said yes to a visit. He loved torturing himself. He wanted to look at Connor because he knew he couldn’t touch. He needed Connor in a way that he couldn’t have him. Oliver had his boundaries, so he wanted as much as he could get.

 

“I brought the food,” Connor held up the bag in his hand. In his moment of awe, Oliver had completely missed the large bag in his hands.

 

“I have the netflix,” Oliver leaned against the doorframe. Hanging out with Connor was already the easiest thing to do.

 

“I would hope so. That is why you invited me here,” Connor laughed. “Now. Are you going to let me in or are we just going to stand here and exchange pleasantries all night?”

 

Oliver chuckled as he led Connor inside.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I swear I'm going to update.  
> Also me: Works a lot so I make money and become exhausted and never have time to write. 
> 
> Better late than never? You lovely readers are the best.

“So, when do I get to meet your husband?”

 

The question was innocent. There was a lull in the conversation while they were both stuffing their face with the food that Connor had brought. They had settled on a romantic comedy that they had found on the “new release” list on Netflix. They hadn’t been able to decide on a movie. Connor kept vetoing all of Oliver’s suggestions. When Oliver realized that they would continue on like this all night if he didn’t put an end to it, he snapped and chose a movie at random. Connor had smirked to himself before turning to Oliver and beaming at him. The movie was awful, but they were in too deep to stop.

 

Oliver chewed on his lip as he contemplated his answer. If Jonathon met him, would it be too suspicious? Would Jonathon have questions for Oliver, ones that he wouldn’t be able to answer? However, if Jonathon didn’t meet him, that would serve as a red flag. Oliver was an awful liar and it would definitely appear as if he was having an affair.

 

“I don’t know. Honestly.” It wasn’t much, but it was an answer. Connor nodded and didn’t push that particular subject. Relief flooded through Oliver.

 

“Is he hot?”

 

Oliver laughed out loud at the question as Connor put his plate down on the coffee table. He turned to face Oliver, folding his legs underneath himself.

 

“Honestly?” Oliver was going to be honest. Connor had already listened to Oliver complain the night before. There wasn’t the fear of scaring him off.

 

“Yes, please.” Connor had his left arm up along the edge of the couch and he was leaning towards Oliver. Everything in that moment was so inviting. Oliver couldn’t have told a lie, even if he really wanted to.

 

“He was. He’s kind of let himself go. He’s handsome. There’s a lot of pictures of him around the house,” Oliver pointed a couple of them out that were in the living room. Pictures of Jonathon and Oliver together were fairly abundant in the house. Those and pictures of their families.

 

Connor jumped up as soon as Oliver pointed to the first one. He crossed the room quickly, his long, lean legs carrying him far. Connor hummed in agreement as he nodded his head. He held up the picture and the glint in his eye made Oliver nervous. He wasn’t sure what to expect next.

 

“Is he hung?”

 

That wasn’t it. Whatever Oliver would’ve guessed Connor was going to say, wasn’t going to be that.

 

“No.”

 

Connor sighed as he put the picture back. His eyes scanned over Oliver’s body quickly before muttering a “ _that’s a shame.”_ Oliver shook his head in disapproval, but his laugh was joyful. He almost wanted to ask Connor about his situation. See if he was toting a large package, but that was completely inappropriate… It was.

 

“This movie sucks,” Connor was back on the couch. He was sitting closer to Oliver than he was before.

 

“Yeah, well if you had chosen a movie, we wouldn’t be in this situation.” Oliver poked him with the clean end of his fork before he put his empty plate down on the coffee table.

 

“You were being too cute in that moment for me to be able to pick anything. I wanted to keep it going,” Connor was laughing at his submission. It was a nervous laugh. It was insecure. Oliver was smitten.

 

“What a loser,” Oliver kicked Connor’s foot before standing up and grabbing the empty plates. Connor followed him into the kitchen, staying a couple of feet behind. He was carrying his beer bottle, taking slow sips from it.

 

“So, when do I get a tour of the house?”

 

Oliver placed the plates on the counter before turning around. He was facing Connor when he raised his hands, gesturing around the room. “This is the kitchen.”

 

“Love it,” Connor was chuckling as he spun around slowly, taking in the different angles of the kitchen.

 

It was a fairly nice kitchen. The whole house was young so it looked like all the other houses in the neighborhood. They all followed the same cookie cutter pattern. Oliver and Jonathon had bought the house a year after they got married and purely bought it based on its location and price. Everything was still in pristine condition. It was a house, not a home.

 

Oliver walked into the attached dining room.

 

“As you could’ve guessed, this is the dining room,” Oliver said as he watched Connor’s fingers glide across the dining table as he walked around it. Connor’s fingers were long and pale against the dark, glossy wood. They were teasing, stopping to stroke the wood when Connor reached the end of it.

 

Oliver led Connor to the foyer, before they walked up the stairs. He paused briefly outside his bedroom before deciding to mention it.

 

“So, that’s where the magic happens?” Connor wiggled his eyebrows at Oliver playfully. His smile was wide and suggestive and Oliver couldn’t help but laugh at it.

 

“There isn’t much magic happening in it,” Oliver leaned against the hallway wall.

 

“That’s a shame,” There was a softness to Connor’s eyes which turned into a sultry stare. Both looks took Oliver’s breath away. Connor pushed himself off of the wall he was leaning on. He moved slowly towards Oliver, giving him time to walk away. Connor placed a hand on Oliver’s chest before moving it up slowly, his fingers ghosting up his neck before finding purchase on Oliver’s cheeks. Oliver was in a trance. He took a step closer to Connor, slipping a hand onto Connor’s waist. “I don’t think he realizes what he’s missing.”

 

“Connor,” Oliver breathed out slowly, pressing his forehead against Connor’s. “I want to. I want to give in to you. I do. Trust me.”

 

“Oliver,” Connor’s breath washed over Oliver’s neck as he leaned forward to press a soft kiss there.

 

“But I can’t,” Oliver dropped his head onto Connor’s shoulder. “I can’t. I’m married.”

 

“I know. I’m sorry,” Oliver felt Connor’s hands on his cheeks, pulling him up to look him in the eyes. “I barely know you, but you’re already so special to me. You deserve a functioning relationship. Someone to treat you like you deserve to be treated.”

 

“Connor.”

 

They stood like that, their foreheads touching. The house was quiet, but in that moment, Oliver felt at home. Connor ignited a spark in him. Something he hadn’t felt in so long.

 

After what felt like forever, Oliver grabbed Connor’s hand and brought him over to a closed door. He opened the door, having to push a little harder to get it open. The paint on the door frame had stuck to the door after being closed for so long.

 

“It was going to be the babies room,” Oliver stepped in, feeling Connor follow in behind him.

 

“It’s beautiful,” Connor bent down to pick up a rogue teddy bear. Oliver hadn’t touched the room since he closed the door after the fateful phone call. “You would’ve been a great father.”

 

Oliver smiled softly at him before he slowly walked out of the room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So, I wrote chapter 7. At 1 am. Per usual. I was only going to write a small filler chapter, but it turned into a 1,000+ word chapter with smut (kinda) and I still haven't finished it. And after tonight's episode... my heart is broken... but I wanted to update. So! Here's what the chapter originally was! If you want the smut part, let me know via comments and I'll finish writing it and polish it up and post it. If not, I'll just move on with the story and skip the smut part. 
> 
> Also, I hate the last sentence, but it was the most obvious transition. sigh.

It was Tuesday and Oliver was sitting across from Jonathon at their dinner table. Oliver had cooked them dinner, determined to talk to his husband about their marriage. Something had to be done before all hope was completely lost. They were eating in silence and Oliver didn’t know how to start the conversation. He counted to 10 slowly in his mind, forcing himself to say something at 10.

 

“We need to talk about our marriage,” Oliver blurted out. It was too loud, too harsh. It was a bold statement that should’ve been said quietly.

 

“What?” Jonathon dropped his fork, letting it rattle against his plate. He wiped his mouth with his fabric napkin. They were an extravagant wedding gift that Jonathon’s mother had gotten them.

 

“We need to talk about our marriage,” Oliver spoke softly this time. “We suck at communicating, we never have meaningful conversations anymore, our sex life is pathetic. I’m not happy anymore and I can’t tell if it’s me or because of you and I think we need help before I give up on us.”

 

“What?” Jonathon sat there in silence, staring at the food on his plate.

 

“Don’t act like you didn’t see this coming,” Oliver was pleading. He couldn’t take the hurt that was beginning to etch itself onto Jonathon’s face.

 

“You’re not happy?” Jonathon’s eyes were beginning to water. He finally looked Oliver in the eyes, and Oliver could feel his heart breaking.

 

“Are you happy? Are you content with where we are?” Oliver needed Jonathon to see that there was a problem. This couldn’t be one-sided. Oliver couldn’t handle the thought of him being the sole reason why his marriage wasn’t working.

 

“I love you,” Jonathon reached over the table, grabbing Oliver’s hand as Oliver began to cry. Why couldn’t Jonathon move closer to Oliver? The seat next to him was empty. He needed that small action of affirmation that everything was okay, because there was still the need to comfort.

 

“That doesn’t translate to happiness, Jon,” Oliver stood up as he stacked his silverware on his plate, carrying it into the kitchen.

 

Oliver came back with a now full glass of wine in one hand and a pad of paper in the other and sat down in the seat next to Jonathon.

 

“I found these marriage counselors and thought we should make an appointment with one of them. Talk to someone. Have someone help us by mediating our conversations.” Oliver slid the pad of paper to Jonathon, letting him see the list he had made.

 

Jonathon nodded slowly, muttering an okay before standing up.

 

“Make an appointment. Let me know when it is,” Jonathon whispered before walking out of the dining room and up the stairs.

 

When Oliver went to bed that night, Jonathon was already asleep. The space between them in their bed had never been bigger. Oliver had been feeling pretty alone for the last chunk of their marriage, but the feeling had never gotten as bad as tonight. He picked his phone up from his bedside table.

 

_I talked to Jonathon. He’s agreeing to go see a counselor. He seemed pretty surprised that I felt this way._

 

Connors reply was immediate.

 

_That’s good that you guys are getting help. I hope his surprise doesn’t affect your guys’ appointments. That he actually tries. Your marriage deserves to work. You deserve it, Oliver._

 

Oliver wanted to cry. He wanted Connor. He wanted to hold him, kiss him, take him on dates. But he was currently lying in bed next to his husband. Could he make his marriage work while having such strong desires for a man he barely knew, yet could trust? In the short time of knowing Connor, he was giving Oliver everything that Oliver was lacking in life. There was passion, happiness, flirting, wanting. There was also a sense of understanding. Connor got him. Did Jonathon ever get him like this?

 

Oliver settled. He knows he did. He didn’t think he deserved that happy ending. Jonathon could give it to him. They never fought. He thought he could live that life. But it wasn’t enough. It’s not enough.

 

Another text came in from Connor.

 

_I’m really sorry about Saturday night. I think I took things a little too far. I want you to be happy. I shouldn’t have made a move on you when you’re trying to make things work with your husband._

 

Another one came immediately after.

 

_I’m here for you. Whatever you need from me. I’ve got you. I’ve got you, Ollie._

 

It was the nickname that broke Oliver. Jonathon hadn’t called him anything sweet in so long. Ollie was a name from the past. ‘Babe’ only came out when Jonathon was drunk and the nickname made Oliver’s skin crawl. Babe was the name of a farm animal, not your husband.

 

It was ‘Ollie’ that broke Oliver. He slipped out of bed, quietly closing the door as he walked down the hall to the guest bathroom. He locked the door behind himself before responding.

 

_What’re you wearing?_


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Look! Mini time jump!
> 
> So, I was going to post the smut, but then it just didn't fit into the flow of the story. So, I'll probably fix it up at some point this weekend, or early next week, and post it separately. I have also been too heartbroken to really throw myself into the smut and finish writing it. So, I'm going to keep working on this story and then pretend like Coliver is still okay and hopefully write some smut that's half decent. 
> 
> There may not be very many chapters left. Just an fyi. Enjoy!

Three weeks and countless counseling appointments had passed and Oliver was finally ready to address the elephant in the room. Him and Connor were still constantly spending time together and every time they hung out, Connor had tried to bring up their sexting incident. Oliver would quickly change the subject. He would shrug it off, call it nothing. He didn’t want to talk about it. The guilt had been crippling and he simply hoped that if he pretended like it didn’t happen, he could start to believe that he hadn’t completely fucked up his marriage.

 

Oliver drummed his fingers on the table he was sitting at. He had texted Connor earlier that day with an invite to lunch and a promise of finally talking about it. On the other side of the café, the door opened and Connor walked in. His book bag was slung over his shoulder and the bags under his eyes were prominent. Connor looked disheveled, like he had run to the café, but he still took Oliver’s breath away when they made eye contact.

 

“Hey!” Connor slumped into his seat, throwing Oliver a small smile.

 

“How was your final?” Oliver asked while pushing a cup of coffee towards Connor. Connor took it happily, bring it to his lips, sighing softly when the smell hit his nose. He took a sip before answering.

 

“Awful. I had finished and was checking my answers and then I was waking up. So, interested to see how I did.” Connor chuckled but his eyes reflected the pain of the past couple of weeks. “Too many finals in just 3 days.”

 

“But you’re done with your first year of law school!” Oliver couldn’t believe that this beautiful human being was also a future lawyer. Connor was smart and it was downright sexy.

 

“Finally,” Connor glanced around for a menu. “Did you order for me?”

 

“Yeah. Got you one of their cheeseburgers I liked. Figured you could use the carbs and protein. They’re also pretty big which is good because something tells me that you haven’t been eating properly.” Oliver raised an eyebrow at Connor, challenging him to try to argue against him. Connor offered him a small smile, a look of defeat before nodding along. He mouthed a ‘thank you’ before taking another drink of his coffee.

 

“So, the sexting,” Connor prompted. Oliver blushed before looking around. None of the people around them seemed to have noticed Connor’s blunt statement. Now there was no way to avoid the talk.

 

“Okay. Yeah, let’s talk about it,” Oliver picked up a straw wrapper, needing something to fiddle with. He was staring at it as he was trying to form his words. He looked up at Connor once Connor reached over and gently pried the ball of paper from Oliver’s fingers.

 

“Why are you all of a sudden ready to talk about it now?” Connor had taken charge of the conversation, which was something Oliver was grateful for. He didn’t want to talk about it. He wanted to ignore it, but he knew he couldn’t.

 

“I started seeing the counselor that Jonathon and I have been going to, on my own. Because all of the sessions were making me more confused. So, I talked to her yesterday. She said it might be a good idea for me to talk to you about it,” Oliver bit his lip before he continued. Connor knew most of this because, like clockwork, he always texted Oliver about the appointments as soon as Oliver got out.

 

“It meant something to me,” Oliver continued. “In that moment, I felt such passion and want and need. I felt accepted. And then we talked on the phone for an hour afterwards about the most random things. At one point, I made you laugh and I cried because of it. Your laugh was so beautiful and intoxicating.”

 

Oliver felt Connor’s foot bump against his own before it rested against it. Connor’s presence against Oliver’s ankle was incredibly reassuring.

 

“I hate going home because I have to deal with all the things I hate about Jonathon. Yet, I can’t wait to get home because I get to text you before bed.”

 

Oliver stopped abruptly before taking a deep breath.

 

“I’m developing feelings for you, Connor. And I want to pursue them, but I can’t because I made a vow to Jonathon. But I’m not happy in my marriage and a future with him looks bleak. I don’t want to raise kids with him anymore. Family isn’t what I think of when I look at him. I don’t deserve that.”

 

Oliver pushed back against Connor’s foot, needing to feel that pressure against himself. Needed to be grounded as he finally put his thoughts into words.

 

“I deserve more than a loveless marriage. Which, you’ve showed me, just by being my friend. You’ve supported me. Reminded me that there’s more to me than being a husband. Thank you.”

 

Oliver’s eyes were tearing up and he suddenly wished that they had gotten their orders to go, so he could be surrounded by the comforting walls of Connor’s apartment. Somewhere private.

 

“Oliver,” Connor leaned towards him, lowering his voice. “That was all you. I was just there in the sidelines. You did all the work.”

 

“Not without you,” Oliver wondered if Connor’s heart was skipping a beat like his was. “Connor, I need to know how you feel. Before I decide what to do, I need to know where we stand. If you don’t feel the same way, or you’re just looking for a lay, there’s no reason for me to even be thinking of anything besides making things work with Jonathon.”

 

Connor stood up slightly, moving into the seat directly adjacent to Oliver. He had moved so close and Oliver’s head was starting to spin as Connor’s cologne hit him. He was so close and Oliver just wanted to take him, take what he had been craving since they met.

 

“Oliver. You are the only part of my day that I look forward to. My favorite days of the week are when we have lunch together. Our friendship, relationship, whatever it is, means everything to me. You mean everything to me. Ollie.” Connor touched Oliver’s hand lightly. “All I want is for you to be happy.”

 

Their talk was interrupted by their plates being set down in front of them. The waitress quickly walked away, leaving them with their privacy.

 

“I know this is hard for you,” Connor continued. “But I want you to do what you have to do. I’ll live with whatever decision you make.”

 

“You’re amazing,” Oliver was in awe.

 

“Nah. I’m an asshole just trying to live up to your example. Believe it or not, you’ve changed me Oliver Hampton.”

 

Oliver laughed, shaking his head. Connor was a dork.

 

“You have. For once, I actually care about someone. And, that’s a big change for me.” Connor kicked Oliver’s foot again. “Now. Let’s eat because all I’ve had in the past 48 hours was a shit ton of coffee and I may pass out soon. We’ll continue the conversation later.”

 

Oliver scoffed at Connor before reaching over and stealing one of his fries.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooooooow. So close to being done. So close. Maybe one more chapter. Maybe two. It depends on how the next one goes. I'm the worst. Enjoy this shorter filler chapter!

Another week had passed and Oliver was frustrated. He set a glass of wine down in front of Jonathon before taking his place on the couch.

 

“What did you want to talk about?” Jonathon didn’t reach out to grab his glass. He just stared at it, waiting for Oliver’s reply.

 

“Us. Where we are. If the counseling is actually helping. It’s just, we go to these appointments and then we come home and do our homework, but I feel like we’re still not trying. I can’t find the energy or will to put into fixing us. Especially not when I feel like you’re not either,” Oliver looked at Jonathon. His face was unreadable and Oliver sighed in frustration. He hadn’t meant to lay it all out at once. In his mind, when he had prepared for this speech, it was all meant to be spread out.

 

“I never saw anything wrong with our marriage.” That was Jonathon’s only reply and it made Oliver angry. He stood up.

 

“You never saw anything wrong with the fact that we stopped talking to each other? We have nothing in common anymore. We don’t have the same drive. Our sex life was and still is pathetic. We both stopped listening to each other.” Oliver was pacing now.

 

“People evolve, change, grow. I figured that’s what was happening. You were just going through some stuff and it would sort out. It’s fine. It’s just a phase. You’re in a funk and you’ll get out of it.” Jonathon finally took a sip of his wine.

 

“It’s survived over 9 months. I don’t think it’s a phase.” Oliver came to a stop. “We have different life goals now. You’re so content with staying where you are. You’re not moving forward. You’re not driven. I thought I was okay with it. But, I want something better than our life right now. I hate my job and want to move on to something more fun. Something higher in ranking than I have now. I want to start traveling. I feel suffocated living this life where nothing is changing. I want to change. I need a change.”

 

“What? You’re over your life? You didn’t have a problem with me when we were dating. You didn’t seem to object when I said we should get married. You haven’t said anything in the past five years that we’ve been married. Why is it just now that you’re suddenly so concerned with this?” Jonathon was getting angry. Oliver had become angry a long time ago.

 

“I made new friends! They just live their life and I want to too!” Oliver paused to take a breath. He was escalating. Getting more and more angry. Jonathon hadn’t tried in the past month that they were seeing a counselor. Why was he trying now? Now when Oliver had finally made his final decision. “I don’t see us doing the things that I want. I can’t picture us eating our way through Spain. I don’t see you wanting to retire someplace warm with me. I don’t see us having children together. I thought I did once, but now I don’t know what I want anymore, but I don’t think it’s with you.”

 

Jonathon just stared at Oliver. He was breathing heavy, his eyes filling with tears and Oliver felt like he was going to be sick.

 

“You wanted a family with me. We talked about it for years. What changed?” Jonathon looked away as he sat down on the couch. “You can’t let one mother pulling out change your mind about starting a family with me.”

 

“That’s not it,” Oliver swallowed the truth down. He couldn’t let it come out. He couldn’t end their marriage with that. “There are so many reasons why and that’s not one of them. I’ve said every one of them in our sessions. This isn’t a surprise.”

 

“I can’t do it anymore,” Oliver continued. “I’m not happy and I keep forcing myself to try to live this lie. But I can’t do it anymore.”

 

“What?” Jonathon leaned back in his seat. “What are you trying to say?”

 

Jonathon looked small, broken. Oliver felt sympathy that quickly turned into anger. If he wanted the marriage to continue, he should’ve put in work while Oliver still wanted to try.

 

“I want a divorce.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, this is it! This is the end. Holy cow this chapter is long. I hope you guys like it! Enjoy the smut? It's not as descriptive as I wanted to make it because it just felt weird to write. And also, school is officially starting so I couldn't spend as much time working on it as I wanted to. But I'm very happy with this chapter. I think it was a good ending. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed my writing! I want to thank everyone who left kudos and commented! You guys made me feel like it was actually worth it to spend so much time writing. So, honestly, thank you so much. <3 It's hard to devote so much time into something when you don't feel like it's being appreciated, but you guys have been so wonderful and I love you all. 
> 
> I love Oliver Hampton and I am so excited to watch the rest of this season! It's going to be angsty and I love it. (As long as my bbs get back together.)

Oliver knocked on Connor’s door as the excitement buzzed through his body. Oliver had left the house as Jonathon packed a couple of bags before going to stay at his brother’s house. Oliver was about to knock again when the door swung open.

 

Connor stood there, looking surprised before a large grin spread across his face. “Oliver! Hey!”

 

Oliver stepped through the door and was about to speak before noticing a group of people sitting around Connor’s coffee table. He turned towards Connor, the excitement starting to go away. “Sorry. Was I interrupting something? I can come back.”

 

“Oh, no. We were just having a post finals hang out, but they just about to leave. Right guys?” Connor sent them a pointed look once he realized they weren’t moving.

 

The finger foods spread out over the coffee table was a clear indicator that they weren’t just about to leave.

 

“Aw man, I wasn’t done eating.” A man complained as everyone around him started getting up.

 

“Asher. Take a plate. Take all of it. I don’t care, just leave.” Connor said as he walked over. He picked up a plate and started scooping food onto it before thrusting it into the man’s hands.

 

The man was muttering something about Connor _“just wanting the D”_ as he passed by Oliver. They all yelled out goodbyes as Connor herded them out the door.

 

“Sorry. I didn’t realize it was a bad time,” Now that they were alone, the excitement was coming back. Oliver suddenly didn’t care that he had ruined Connor’s little get together.

 

“It wasn’t,” Connor bit his lip as he contemplated what was coming next. “Why are you here? Not that I don’t want you here, but it’s late. Won’t Jonathon get suspicious?”

 

Oliver shook his head as he thought about how to deliver the news. “It’s done. With him. I, uh, asked him for a divorce.”

 

“What?” Connor’s voice was high, his eyes hopeful.

 

“I couldn’t do it anymore. I needed my life to begin. He’s actually packing up some bags now. He’s going to go stay with his brother while we figure out who gets the house and stuff.” As much as Oliver wanted to stand there, this isn’t why he came. He didn’t want to talk about Jonathon. He came here for one thing.

 

“Connor,” Oliver walked over to stand in front of him. “Please.”

 

Connor stared into Oliver’s eyes, asking a silent question. This was everything Connor had been wanting for the past month. It hadn’t seemed fair to him that the one person he wanted to settle down with was unattainable. But now, Oliver was standing in front of him with a naked finger. Connor could finally have him. He licked his lips before slowly leaning in, giving Oliver all the time to pull away. Reject him.

 

Oliver met Connor half way, pressing his lips to Connors. The kiss was soft. It was everything that Oliver had hoped it would be. It was sweet, passionate. Oliver opened his mouth and took the kiss deeper. It hadn’t been enough. He needed more. After so much time dreaming about this moment, he couldn’t hold back anymore. He licked inside Connor’s mouth, feeling the moan leave Connor. He felt Connor’s hands on his neck before sliding up to tangle in his hair.

 

“Connor. Please. I need you,” Oliver was shaking as he pulled away from the kiss. He wanted to keep kissing Connor, but he needed to feel Connor inside of him. He needed Connor to take him.

 

“I’ve got you, Oliver,” It was a whisper as Connor dipped down to press his lips against Oliver’s throat.

 

Oliver sighed as Connor kissed his way down, stopping to pull on the neck of Oliver’s t-shirt. He nipped at Oliver’s collarbone before stepping back.

 

“You taste like sweat,” Connor laughed as he pulled on Oliver’s hand, leading him to his bedroom.

 

“Sorry? I ran up the stairs once I got out of my car. I had to see you. I waited long enough.” Oliver giggled as Connor pushed him down onto the edge of his bed. Oliver bounced once and was about to lay back when Connor stopped him.

 

Connor pulled him in for a kiss as he kneeled down on the ground in front of Oliver. Connor’s hands were on Oliver’s knees and the warmth traveled from Oliver’s knees up his legs. The kiss was slow. Connor’s tongue moved against Oliver’s and Oliver swore he was in heaven. When Connor pulled away, Oliver leaned forward, chasing after him. Connor chuckled as Oliver’s eyes fluttered and Oliver couldn’t find it within himself to be embarrassed. Not when Connor was looking at him with pure adoration.

 

Connor slid his hands down Oliver’s legs, slipping off Oliver’s shoes one at a time. He placed them neatly at the end of his bed before tracing his fingers around Oliver’s ankle, riding the edge of his sock. Oliver chuckled as Connor touched a ticklish spot and Connor couldn’t help but grin as Oliver leaned down to kiss him. Oliver ran his fingers through Connor’s hair as he bit his lip softly. Connor let out a moan as Oliver ran his fingers through Connor’s hair a second time, this time scratching softly at Connor’s scalp. Connor didn’t know what felt better, Oliver’s lips or his fingers in his hair. No. It was definitely Oliver’s lips.

 

After Connor slid off the socks, he stood up, pulling his own shirt off as he moved. Oliver’s mouth ran dry as he took in the muscles that flexed as Connor lifted the shirt over his head. Oliver couldn’t hold back the whine that escaped his lips.

 

“Holy fuck, you’re even hotter with your shirt off and I didn’t think that could be possible.” Oliver’s voice was light, strained and he was embarrassed. Connor was easily the hottest man Oliver had ever been intimate with and his nerves were starting to kick in.

 

“Just wait until I take my pants off,” There it was. The smirk that proved Oliver defenseless. He was now putty, Connor had complete control over him and Oliver was ready.

 

“Fuck, Connor,” Oliver was a mess. Connor hadn’t even touched him yet and Oliver was already breathing heavy. His fingertips were itching for more of Connor’s skin to touch. Before he could move to unbutton Connor’s jeans, Connor was pulling on the hem of Oliver’s t-shirt. Once it was off, Connor let out a low moan, pressing his forehead to Oliver’s knee.

 

“How can you compliment me when you look like that?” Connor stared up at him, lust clouding his eyes. “Take off your pants.”

 

Oliver stood up and Connor pulled at the legs of Oliver’s jeans as Oliver unbuttoned them. Once they were off Connor curled his fingers around the waistband of Oliver’s boxer briefs, pulling them down in one swift motion.

 

“Holy fuck,” Connor’s mouth watered once he caught sight of Oliver’s fully naked body. Connor must’ve stared for too long because soon Oliver was sitting back down and wrapping his arms around his exposed abdomen. “No, no, no. Babe. No.”

 

Connor pushed at Oliver’s arms in hopes of exposing Oliver’s body again. “You’re too beautiful and I’ve waited too long for you to become self-conscious. I’ve wanted you since the first moment I saw you. God, you're so fucking hot.”

 

Before he knew what was happening, Connor’s lips were back on Oliver’s. The kiss was hot, passionate, desperate. Oliver’s hands were on the back of Connor’s neck, pulling him even closer. Their mouths widened, their kisses turned sloppy as the need began to overtake them. Connor pulled away and pushed Oliver up the bed. Connor discarded the rest of his clothes quickly before crawling up the bed. Connor paused at Oliver’s feet. Connor bent down to press a soft kiss against Oliver’s left ankle before trailing light kisses up Oliver’s leg. When Connor pressed a pressed a kiss and gentle bite on Oliver’s inner thigh, Oliver chuckled.

 

“You’re so ticklish,” Connor was amused. Part of him was disappointed that Oliver laughing was stealing from the ambience that Connor was trying to create. But once Oliver looked up at him with the shy smile that Connor had come to love, he realized that he didn’t care.

 

Connor was falling in love with Oliver.

 

Oliver bit his lip as Connor’s eyes swept over his body. He didn’t have a response. He couldn’t form one. His body was on fire and the only thing he needed was Connor pressed against him. He watched Connor lean down, never breaking eye contact as he began to press kisses down Oliver’s abdomen. Connor smirked as he reached Oliver’s dick. Oliver was hard and ready and already leaking. Connor kissed the tip before licking it softly. Oliver moaned out as he closed his eyes. It was such a simple touch, but it felt like everything. Connor took him into his mouth and Oliver swore he was home.

 

“Fuck. Connor,” Oliver’s fingers found Connor’s hair and knotted in the locks. He pulled slightly as he felt Connor swallow him down. Oliver’s legs fell open even wider as Connor slid Oliver’s dick out of his mouth.

 

“Oliver. Watch me. Don’t take your eyes off of me.” It was soft, but it was a command.

 

Oliver opened his eyes and watched as Connor took Oliver’s cock into his mouth again and begin to bob his head. Oliver could feel Connor’s tongue running alongside the underneath of Oliver’s dick and he was in heaven. Connor’s mouth was hot and wet and it was dirty. He was sucking him off like it was the only thing he wanted to do and Oliver couldn’t take it. Each moan let out as he felt the head of his penis hit the back of Connor’s throat was getting louder and louder and if Connor didn’t stop, Oliver was going to cum. Oliver pulled on Connor’s hair when he got too close to the edge. Oliver’s cock slipped out with a ‘ _pop!’_  as Connor whined.

 

Oliver pulled him up before Connor could say anything, kissing him hard and fast on the lips. Oliver wrapped an arm around Connor’s shoulders as he grinded up, pressing his dick against Connor.

 

“Connor. I need you,” Oliver pulled away as he rolled over in place, sliding himself onto all fours, pressing his ass up and into Connor who was still hovering over Connor. “Please,”

 

Connor moaned long and loud as he pressed a kiss against Oliver’s ass. Oliver gasped when he felt Connor’s tongue against his hole. It was unexpected and warm and oh god, Oliver couldn’t remember the last time someone ate his ass. He pushed back against Connor, needing more. Connor chuckled against him before slowly pushing his tongue into Oliver. Oliver was gasping, his hands gripping the sheets as he moaned out. He was borderline too loud but he couldn’t control himself.

 

Oliver whimpered as Connor licked a last stripe up Oliver before he pulled away. Oliver was panting, his cheek pushed into the bed below him, his ass in the air.

 

“God, you look beautiful,” Connor’s voice was huskier, his need apparent. He sighed as he pushed a lubed finger into Oliver.

 

Oliver moaned as Connor stretched him out. Connor moved from one finger to two to three and Oliver almost couldn’t handle it. He was a withering mess on Connor’s bed. He should’ve been embarrassed, but he wasn’t. He couldn’t be. This all felt too perfect.

 

“Connor. Please. I’m ready. Just fuck me already!” Oliver’s voice was shaking and Connor was laughing behind him.

 

Oliver moaned as he felt Connor’s dick against his hole. Connor slowly started to push in. Connor was larger than Oliver was anticipating and it stung. Oliver’s breath hitched as he tried to get used to the sensation. It was the sting that broke through Oliver’s sex haze and sent him into a panic.

 

“Wait! You need a condom!” Oliver moved forward, sliding himself off of Connor’s dick. He rolled over, looking up at Connor. He had been so stupid, losing himself in the moment like that. It was so stupid. “I’m positive. You need to be wearing a condom.”

 

“Oliver. Babe. It’s okay,” Connor pressed a kiss against Oliver’s forehead. “I’m on PrEP.”

 

“What?” Oliver was shocked. His voice was small a stark contrast to the powerful moans that were just leaving his body. His mind began to race as he began to think of a million different reasons why Connor would be on PrEP. Was he sleeping with someone else?

 

“The Monday after I met you, I was hooked on you. I went to my doctor and talked to him about starting PrEP. I knew that if you ever allowed me to be intimate with you, I wanted to make sure that I could be completely with you. I wanted to feel you,” Connor was insecure about his response. Oliver could see it in his eyes. Oliver could see all the hope that Connor had stowed away once he realized that Oliver was faithfully married. Oliver could see the happiness that hadn’t left his eyes since Oliver arrived at his doorstep that night.

 

“Connor.” Oliver pressed his lips against Connor’s softly. The kiss was gentle, a reminder that they were there together.

 

Connor pulled away and smiled at Oliver. It was blinding and beautiful and Oliver was too overwhelmed. Connor leaned back, sitting in between Oliver’s legs and he placed a hand on each one.

 

“Spread ‘em!” Oliver chuckled at Connor’s exclamation. He did as he was told.

 

Connor pressed himself into Oliver and this time, Oliver felt nothing but pleasure. Connor stilled once he was fully in Oliver.

 

“Fuck. Connor you’re huge,” Oliver gasped at the pleasure of being completely filled.

 

“You know how to make a man feel good about himself,” Connor let out a breathy chuckle as he began to pull out before slowly pushing himself back in. Oliver was tight and it was almost too much for Connor. A month later and he was finally home. He couldn’t remember anyone feeling remotely as good as being inside Oliver felt right now.

 

“I’m good. Fuck me, Connor. Connor, please,” Oliver was panting and shaking like a leaf.

 

“Fuck,” And Connor was off, his speed gradually increasing until he was fucking Oliver. The pace was brutal and Oliver had never felt so alive.

 

With each thrust, Oliver felt all the stress and weight being lifted off his shoulder. In this bed, he was just Oliver. He had no other identifiers. In this bed, he could forget all of his unhappiness. He was free. Oliver leaned up, kissing Connor as he gripped his shoulders. He gave a subtle push and they were rolling over. Connor on his back and Oliver perched on him.

 

Oliver kissed Connor one last time before he sat up. From this new position, Oliver could feel all of Connor. He gripped the headboard in front of him as he began to ride Connor. With each movement, Oliver began to feel more like himself, carefree. He began to move faster, slamming his hips down harder. He watched Connor bite his lip before throwing his head back. He let out a moan before gripping Oliver’s hips. The muscles in Connor’s neck were inviting and before he could stop himself, Oliver had one hand next to Connor’s head and he attached his lips to Connor’s neck. He was biting and kissing him, leaving little marks as Connor shook beneath him.

 

From the angle at which Oliver was bent over Connor, Oliver could feel Connor’s dick rubbing against his prostate and he was in fucking heaven. This is it. This is what he’d been missing. It had been so long since someone has taken care of him. He couldn’t remember a moment in the past 11 years that could rival the passion between himself and Connor right now. Connor was thrusting hard into Oliver, digging his heels into the bed beneath him. It was all too much and when Connor wrapped a hand around Oliver’s dick, that was all it took. Oliver came hard onto Connor. He was shaking and gasping for air as his nerves tingled. His body was on fire and everything felt too good.

 

Connor came quickly after Oliver, wrapping his arms around Oliver and holding him close as he rode out his orgasm.

 

Neither of them moved as Connor slowly became soft inside Oliver. None of them spoke. The peaceful silence was enough. It said everything that needed to be said. It was everything. It was Connor thanking Oliver for coming to see him. It was Oliver thanking Connor for everything. The friendship. The sex. Helping Oliver find himself. It was just everything.

 

They both drifted off to sleep in each others arms. Oliver had mentioned needing to clean up. That they would regret falling asleep with dried cum between them. But neither of them got up.

 

*

 

In the morning, Oliver woke up to kisses being littered on his face.

 

“Connor,” It was a whine. Oliver burrowed his face into Connor’s neck as he was tugged closer to Connor.

 

“Can I take you out to dinner tonight?” Connor said before pressing a kiss against Oliver’s hair. “A date. A real date.”

 

“Hmm. Only if you’re paying,” Oliver was laughing into Connor’s neck. His whole body shaking.

 

“You think you’re so funny!” Connor pushed Oliver off of him before throwing a leg over Oliver’s hips. He held him down as he tickled him lightly.

 

“Stoooooop!” Oliver was cackling and it was the cutest thing Connor had ever seen. “Will you go to dinner with me?”

 

“Of course!” Oliver was still giggling after Connor stopped tickling him.

 

"Also, we need to go to the gym together because holy fuck you're ripped and hot and I was not expecting that." Connor's eyes traveled over Oliver's body as he gripped Oliver's biceps. "Once we both wake up fully, you're taking me to pound town and we're going to fuck in front of a mirror so I can see all your muscles."

 

Oliver laughed as he threw his arm over his eyes. He couldn't handle the compliments. The silence after Oliver's outburst of laughter was comfortable. Both of them just looking into each others eyes. 

 

“Hey, Ollie?” Connor’s voice was small. His eyes skimming over every feature on Oliver’s face.

 

“Yeah?” The love in Connor’s eyes took Oliver’s breath away and he already knew that no matter what Connor asked of him, he would do. He was fucked and in love and that was okay.

 

“Are you happy?”

 

The question was simple but the answer was heavy. Was Oliver happy? At this moment? Yes. But in the back of his mind, there was a gentle reminder that he had fucked up. He couldn’t save his marriage. He had failed. He had been a bad husband and he probably deserved whatever demands Jonathon had for the divorce settlement.

 

But it didn’t matter. Because Oliver was happy. He was out of a loveless marriage. He had his life back. There were no more expectations of him. His marriage may have failed, but he couldn’t keep living that life. He finally loved life again and he couldn’t be happier.

 

“I am,” Oliver was smiling up at him. He was free.

 

“Good. You know that’s all I ever wanted? Right? All I wanted was for you to be happy,” Oliver could see the doubt in Connor’s eyes. Whatever Connor was thinking about himself being the reason for Oliver’s divorce wasn’t true. Connor didn’t have anything to do with it. He had just opened Oliver’s eyes to what he actually wanted.

 

“I know,” Oliver licked his lips as he looked up at Connor. His heart was full, his mind clear as they locked eyes.

 

He felt like he had been waiting too long for this moment. He felt at ease, laying on Connor’s bed completely naked. He felt like he was finally home. There was no longer a war going on inside of him. He knew he had made the right choice. He had no regrets.

 

Oliver’s voice was barely above a whisper.

 

“Kiss me.”

 

And Connor did.


End file.
